I dont have to make everything all better six practical principles that empower others to solve their own problems while enriching your relationships lundberg gary lundberg joy on amazoncom free shipping on qualifying offers i dont have to make everything all better six practical principles that empower others to solve their own problems while enriching your relationships. I dont have to make everything all better all i have to do is listen listening is hard to do we want to jump in with the solution to the other persons problem it is amazing how we know what the other person should do but if we end up with the same problem they had we become as confused or witless as they were. As children we often get the subconscious message that we arent important our emotions dont matter and people dont care about us in i dont have to make everything all better we learn that every human has a basic need to feel that they have worth their feelings matter and that someone cares about them. I dont have to make everything all better six practical principles to empower others to solve their own problems while enriching your relationships by lundberg gary b lundberg joy saunders publication date 1999 topics interpersonal relations self actualization psychology interpersonal communication dependency psychology. I dont have to make everything all better makes two propositions first you dont have to solve other peoples problems and second by appropriately validating feelings you empower people to be their own problem solvers which will significantly increase the quality of your relationshipsthe techniques of validation the lundbergs share give people the space to solve their own problems